Congratulations, if you’ve made a New Year’s resolution to get in better shape in 2016. If you’re heading to the gym as a newbie (or for those who speak military acronym – FNG), I’ll provide you with some info to help you not embarrass yourself and to keep the gym “flow” rolling so the regular gym users won’t get their panties in a bunch.
First off, I’m no Charles Atlas, just a guy who’s pretty much addicted to exercise. I’m in so-so shape and in my 50’s, so I won’t set off the Lunk Alarm, as Planet Fitness says. But I’ve spent years in gyms trying to avoid obesity and type 2 diabetes that did my father in too young. We gym “regulars” aren’t upset that a new crop of folks has decided to hit the gym. We don’t mind a crowded gym as much as those who are clueless in it.
Gym attire is probably the first thing you should consider. Almost all women look better in tight leggings or yoga pants, but men should avoid them like a Cosby cocktail. Guys, you’re best off wearing a t shirt and shorts or sweat pants. If you’re in terrific shape, sure, throw on a tank top now and then to show off the guns, but the majority should resist the wife beaters. Longer shorts or sweat pants work just fine for the bottom half. Don’t throw on short shorts reminiscent of the NBA 80’s era. And don’t do what I saw a 60-ish, grey-haired guy do recently at my gym. He had on compression shorts WITHOUT a regular pair of shorts on over them. My eyes still cannot un-see that.
Generally, the more serious lifters take over the free weight section, so novices enter there at your own risk. “Regular” folks like me, with no delusions of Arnold grandeur, stick with machines. My biggest pet peeve currently is people who sit on machines or a weight bench reading or texting on their phones. Leave the damn things in the locker room. If you can’t be unreachable for an hour, that’s a YOU problem, and YOU should probably find a better use for your hard earned money. And don’t rest or lean on a machine, at least when it’s crowded in the late afternoon/early evening. Allow someone to work in with you, alternating sets, if needed.
Most of us listen to i pods in the gym, but it’s O.K. to chat briefly during a workout. It’s not O.K., however, to hold long conversations with someone on a machine or someone in the middle of a workout unless you’re both just getting stretched or finishing at the same time. Either way, the warm up area, locker room or hallway are better places to catch up. If you use the cardio machines, don’t forget to wipe ’em down afterward. If you’re not sweating on them, kick it up a notch next time.
That’s enough to get you started. Just be aware of others around you, even if you’re zoning out listening to GLO or your favorite tunes on shuffle. And don’t overdo it the first couple of weeks. You’ll be sore and won’t want to come back. Step up the intensity of your workouts slowly and gradually. It’s a marathon not a sprint, and you gotta stick with it for more than a few weeks. Even we gym regulars want you coming back – it makes for a better atmosphere when there are bodies in the gym. Good luck.
Doc Watson
